I think I was born with a rebel heart…

I think I was born with a rebel heart. I don’t mean like a graffitied body (okay maybe a little, about 12 to be exact) & piercings…not that kind of rebel.

In fact, upon one look at me, rebellious might be the very first word you’d choose & probably in a shirt two sizes too big for the “normal” looking girl 

I mean a soul kind of rebellion, A rebellion against the “supposed to’s. The “they say you should’s. The “it’s normal to’s 

When I was 5, I argued with my kindergarten teacher about assigned seating. “I just don’t get it, Why am I sitting by these girls when all of my friends are at THAT table?” She replied, “It’s just how we do things. It’s what we are supposed to do”.(and that’s how I got kicked out of The all-girls school ) 

When I was 10, I joined a boy’s soccer team, and while that didn’t go as planned (I sucked at soccer), I was more concerned about missing out on so much fun with the boys, I mean my first thought was “who wants to play netball with a group of girls”

Some boys hated it, Some boys loved it, I don’t think I really cared, I just wanted to be around my friends and be considered one of the guys 

When I was 12, I put my feet up, on those terrible, stiff classroom desks during reading time. My English teacher at the time notices within seconds & was appalled. “Ms. Simons she said, you’re not supposed to do that. It’s improper, girls don’t sit like that!!! It’s not what “WE” do. I remember thinking “who is WE? & when did I join!?” When did “we” get assigned to the do’s and don’t’s?? I don’t want to be “we”!!! So I told her it helps me focus, plus we have to sit at these desks for 6 hours a day and my back hurts, trust me I had an answer for everything. I told her I get A’s on all her tests & read more books than most people I know, I don’t think the other classmates cared, so why did she?

Finally, when I am 28 years of age. Dresses are my least favorite item, I own a pair of high heels, (okay maybe a few too many) – “I’ll wear them someday, they are just too cute not to buy” I hardly wear them! I hate brushing my hair such an effort, chop it all off! Works better and I avoid formal gatherings at all cost.

It’s pretty laughable, at least laughing is my reaction of choice well at first, this panicked me, but then, I learned to let it excite me. It is wildly exhilarating to declare yourself free from all that everybody is expecting you to do. To decide to be barefoot when everyone else is wearing shoes, that everything I am “supposed to do” is all just a big fat lie that I don’t have to listen to & maybe just maybe, I was divinely designed to be exactly who I am, to fit a mold made by anybody besides my creative Father is to rob the world of all the things that make me, me.

So this is me charging you…

What are THEY telling you that you’re supposed to do? who are THEY anyway?

Is it the media, your advisor, your friends, your family,

Or perhaps,

Is it your own voice whispering lies so quietly that you are unaware that you’re believing it?

• Be free.
• There is a God, Who made you, Who wants you to be free. His Word even says it. “It is for freedom that Christ has set us free”.
• Ask him to help you be free, from your past regrets, your present sins, and your future worries.
• God is always wanting to set you free.

Will you be ready to move to another country, switch your major, quit school, change jobs, or anything in between? Probably not!!!!!! 

Are we ever ready for anything?

• Will I be ready…

• To be a mom?
• To say goodbye to my own mom one day?
• To watch my one-day daughters become moms?

Oh gosh, no!!! It’s terrifying! 

“Ready” is a lie, it steals all your hopes & dreams and it paralyzes your feet from moving, it cripples your heart from believing life is most beautiful when living in the unknown. 

Don’t be ready,

Be free!!!!! 

Ready is for people who trust in themselves, Who want to live small & safe lives.

Freedom is for people who trust in the One who made them, who wants to live lives too big to be ready for! 

I said it #Nova

Back when I was still writing, think I should start again…

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Real-Raw-Rare

Written by: Bernell Simons